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grimgrinningghosts) wrote2018-05-20 11:23 pm
grimgrinningghosts) wrote2018-05-20 11:23 pm
Entry tags:
Non-Disney Locations
Hotel / Room Assignments
Seedy Hotel
Where you’ll be staying for your so-called vacation. It’s a run down hotel with stiff mattresses, dripping faucets, and peeling wallpaper. It’s painfully small consisting of a small lobby area, a kitchen, and 20 rooms. Each room is bare bones, with a single king size bed. A bedside table (with a lamp, notepad and pen, and the novelization of Space Jam), a small closet, and a bathroom with a sink and bathtub. Be thankful that the bed sheets, towels, and free toiletries are restocked each day and all appear to be perfectly clean. Near the front door there are also a set of profiles of each of the guests of this hotel, with a small bio and a button that plays a nice song!
And hey! At least there’s a free continental breakfast every morning from 6 AM to 10 AM! I hope you like stale muffins and instant coffee with powdered creamer. If you want something a little more edible, the kitchen is stocked daily with food and all of the kitchen appliances work fine despite them all seeming run down.
Outside is the entrance to Moron Mountain, and while you could attempt to go somewhere else, it is horribly foggy anywhere outside the direct path from the hotel to the park. And no matter how far you go, you seem to wind up right at the hotel again.
| 00. 01. Dinobot 02. Otis 03. Kubo 04. Beth Tezuka 05. Ginger 06. 07. 08. Audrey | 09. 10. Fizzy 11. 12. 13. Mahatma Gandhi 14. 15. Cleopatra Smith 16. | 17. 18. 19. Beetle 20. Centipeedle 21. 22. Willy Wonka 23. Penny Polendina 24. 25. |
Welcome to Moron Mountain! The brand new theme park dedicated to showing you the biggest thrills of your life! While still under construction, we promise you that Moron Mountain has entertainment to die for!
... Get it?
Your first sight upon entering the park proper. It feels like someone attempted to recreate a downtown street, but with the looming buildings and dark colors, seems that they missed a few steps in making it look inviting. It seems like most of the park is under construction at this point, with the only other open area at the point being Sportsland.
Shopping Area
Your one stop shop for all your Moron Mountain memorabilia! Near the entrance are two lines of shops. They’re stocked wall-to-wall with Moron Mountain clothes, plushes, pins, and even underwear. There are no employees there and nothing happens if you try to steal any of the souvenirs, so feel free to steal as much free underwear as you want!
Hot Dogs! Hot Dogs!
Near the end of the row of shops is a hot dog restaurant, also completely empty of any employees. In front is a menu of hot dogs, corn dogs, and the monthly special (this month is bbq!). If you press any of the menu items, the food you order will magically appear in front of you.
Despite the general iffiness of the situation, the hot dogs don’t taste bad, just don’t eat a ton if you care for your body at all.
Casino
In the back of an alleyway in the Shopping area there is a rather ominous tent, but looks can be deceiving.
Sportsland
Wow, there are like no real attractions here?
Gym
A decently sized gym, with treadmills, punching bags, a running track, and weights to use at your leisure. Why not take your anger on this situation out on murder by working out! Or, alternatively, take your anger out by hitting someone with a weight.
Smoothie Stand
Nothing like a nice smoothie after a workout!
Basketball Court
It’s an decently sized basketball court. Just outside there’s a sign that says “Meet Michael!” on it, but strangely there is no Michael to be found here.
Laundryland
After the first Trial, the guests will wake up to find that a new area has opened up next to Swackhammer Avenue. And it's... a place filled with laundry rooms? Even outside the rooms, there's a large statue of a washing machine in the middle of the land! (if you're expecting me to make a tide pod joke you're outta luck) After the second trial
Laundry Room(s)
Well... it's a lot of laundry rooms. At least you can now wash all your Moron Mountain Merchandise? Luckily everything is in working condition too!
Laund-O-Matic
Oh hey an actual ride! This ride simulates the invigorating feeling of being stuck in a washing machine! (Sonic is weeping somewhere). When you leave, there's even a little laundry-themed gift shop!
Public Schoolland
After the second trial, everyone living will wake up to a new area opening right outside of Sportsland! As soon as they enter it they... immediately seem to wind up inside of a public school? It appears to be long abandoned, with busted lockers lining the walls. But hey on the bright side there's more stuff to do than in Laundryland! Good news?
Cafeteria
Good news? There's finally a wide variety of food that you can eat that you don't have to prepare!
Bad news? They're all of questionable quality. At best.
Art Room
Hey you finally get a decent amount of art supplies! The room is dusty and some of the paint has seen better days but it's very serviceable!
... Best not try out the kiln. though.
Restrooms
With all the free soap for Gandhi to eat
Music Room
And hey there's a music room too! Despite everything else about this hellpark, there seems to be a decent amount of instruments here!
Public School: The Ride
Aww man it's one of those lame simulator rides! When you get into this room, you immediately are given a set of 3d glasses and are forced to sit behind a desk and stare at a screen. It just shows... an old guy doing a long and boring lecture, snapping at anyone who falls asleep in class or attempts to leave before their lecture is over.
Fun fact: each lecture is 45 minutes long. A weed shop with a heavy (and eerie) voodoo theme
Weedland
After the third trial it opens up... huh
Weed Dispensary
A weed shop with a heavy (and eerie) voodoo theme. It's stocked wall to wall with joints, edibles, paraphenalia, and everything you need to be a genuine pothead.
Munchie Shop
It's stocked with all the junk food your heart desires! Perfect companion with the dispensary
Theater
Hey finally some entertainment! This plays cartoons 24/7 with some episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents sprinkled in
Carnival
It appears after the fourth trial Swackhammer got lazy in naming. Still you get a real amusement park! ... Sort of, this whole location is dark and eerie, no matter the time of day. And the rides... well, they don't fair much better
Roller Coaster
Hey an actual ride for once! It's a rickety-looking roller coaster, but it works at least
Hall of Mirrors
Don't get lost! It's remarkably easy to do that here, and try not to look into the mirrors too hard unless you want to see grotesque images of yourself and people in the room too
Fortune Teller
An empty fortune teller's tent. There is a single crystal ball on a table and if you look into it shows you horrifying futures (or presents?) of your home worlds.
... Better not think too hard on if it's telling the truth or not
Tunnel of Love
This one is the most normal of all the attractions here, but I wouldn't try swimming in the water here. It looks gross and murky